Small Groups - Growing together

This is the third post in a mini-series looking at the purpose of our Small Groups here at Christ Church Walkley. See the first post here, and second here.

Last week’s post saw how one way of avoiding Small Groups becoming inward-focussed and self-seeking was for them to be continually looking outward to God, seeking to bring him glory. In practice, part of that involves growing together in Christian maturity, so our lives and speech are increasingly glorifying to God. Take a look at Ephesians 4:25-32:

Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbour, for we are members one of another. Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil. Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labour, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need. Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamour and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
— Ephesians 4:25-32, ESV

This follows on from Paul telling those he was writing to that by knowing Jesus they have been fundamentally changed, and they should be growing in their Christlikeness. And here Paul gets very specific about what that growth looks like. I want to highlight just two aspects of what hes says in the passage quoted above.

Firstly, notice the emphasis on what we say. We are to speak the truth, to build one another up with our words, to avoid slander and falsehood. The reference to not grieving the Holy Spirit probably fits here too, most likely referring to Israel’s grumbling in the wilderness (See Exodus 15 and Isaiah 63).  Our words matter more than we might think. It’s not just that dishonesty, corrupting and untimely words are wrong and sinful, but they damage our Christian brothers and sisters and grieve the Holy Spirit. The call is to have both the right content to our speech and the right manner of saying it. Rebuking someone harshly may be honest, but is unlikely to give grace to them or to build them up. Simply being ‘nice’ and being unwilling to address areas of sin with one another rapidly becomes dishonest. Neither help us to grow together in Christlikeness.

Secondly, notice that it all stems from God’s forgiveness of us. We treat one another in the same way that God has treated us. If we are to speak openly and honestly with one another we will inevitably touch nerves and sensitive areas. We will all make mistakes. We will likely waver between speaking falsely and speaking insensitively. So we must be willing to forgive one another when we get it wrong, to not respond with bitterness, anger and slander, but with honesty, kindness and humility. If we are to grow together in Christlikeness then our attitude towards each other must, at root, reflect God’s attitude to us. He has treated us on the basis of forgiveness and mercy, so we must treat one another in the same way – even when that means absorbing the cost and pain of someone else’s sin towards us.

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